November 26 2014 Minutes

Date: November 26 2014

Time: 7:00 PM to 8:35 PM

Location: Public Library


  • Eathel Carmichael

  • Rusty

  • GW Thomas

  • Brian Hill

  • C S Burgar

Meeting notes:

Open 7:10 PM, by Rusty


Brief general discussion of format for those not present last meeting.

Confirm continuation, with review at future meeting.

Discuss, leading discussions, Cori, Brian and Eathel agree to decline unless they find something of intense interest to them.

G W will lead on a rotating basis if he determines the group is fine with his direction of discussion. All agreed we will inform him if we are not interested in his discussion line. So for now Rusty will lead discussions with input provided by the group.

Group discussion:

“What was the best opening line of a story you have read?”

Group consensus is that the opening paragraph needs to grab them to continue reading. The opening sentence needs to grab them but they give the paragraph a second chance to draw them in. If that fails it is not likely they will continue unless desire is already in them to read the piece.

We find genres nearly dictate the type of opening used.

The group tends towards Fantasy and fiction in general though other genres are read and were discussed.

We find we are drawn in more by openings that start in the middle of the story and are action based. Descriptive opening are also a common drawing. Less so are narrative and reporting.

GW offered the group a hand out to go with the discussion. Submission requirements for the publication, “The First Line’s”

Next Discussion will be: “Do you think it is ever to late to write”

Peer review:

Author: Eathel Carmichael

Piece:Princess of the Animals”

Review: Level 5

A long discussion ensued, including technical issues. The reading was found to need a different view-point, perhaps from the main character’s first person emotional feelings or a secondary characters views on the action and the protagonist. The action was found disjointed and from a bird’s eye view with unnecessary actions included in the writing. It is felt certain aspects needed fleshing out, while others could be left out or minimized. Perhaps using a different format would making understanding the piece easier and might draw in readers better. The piece was found chaotic, an impersonal bird’s eye of the scene and difficult to retain attention or focus on what the intent of the piece was. Being listed as Chapter One but being written as a prolog, this added to the difficulties. We felt we needed some sort of character connection to continue reading any further and that it was lacking this asset.


Author: Brian Hill

Piece:September 8″

Review: Level 1 or open

A short discussion ensued. All agreed it was an easy read. Well done, feeling realistic. A good job describing the life of the farm. Good use of character writing. Brian was encouraged to continue with the journal style of writing his fiction.

end of reviews: 8:25 PM

Rusty informed the group the Skype set up is ready for the meetings, we can include Eric when he is ready to start as well as any previous members who wish to be involved long distance once again.

Next Meeting is December 17 2014

in the same room

It will be our annual Christmas party with:

  • Chinese gift exchange, please bring one wrapped book.
  • We each will bring snacks and drinks as well.

December peer review will be of:

  • C S Burgar

  • Eathel Carmichael

This weeks recommended reading is: J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Meeting Adjourned at 8:35 PM


November 12 2014 Minutes

Date: 11 – 12 – 2014

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:35 PM

Location:  Public Library


  • Cori S Burgar

  • Eathel Carmichael

  • Rusty


Meeting notes:

Open 7:10 pm, by Rusty


General discussion on future meeting format

Opening with the discussion on desired future meeting format.  It was decided to try continuing with the old format on a voluntary basis. With review of desired format at future meetings. Rusty has volunteered to coordinate discussions until we can talk with G.W. for his input and see if he would like to lead the discussion portion of the meeting.

Rusty was given lead for next meeting and it was discussed that anyone who has questions or ideas they would like to see discussed present them through email or text to Rusty. Email these to .

The proposed discussions were recommended to be based on story development or writing skills primarily.

Feedback on meetings and ideas are encouraged and can be emailed to Rusty.

To prepare for next meeting the discussion will be:

“What was the best opening line of a story you have read?”

Peer review:

Author: Rusty

Piece: Landquest

Review: open

7:30 pm

Discussion on writing style and how it is for reading the piece. Determined that the style feels like an adventure being narrated by a Game Master. Telling the story instead of showing, in places. Feeling that past/present tense can sometimes be confusing.  Discuss word usage and grammar. Citing examples of confusing word usage and grammar in three location of the piece. Feeling was that it is a good read once understanding the writing style.

Author: Eathel Carmichael

Piece: Princess of the Animals

Review: 5

7:45 pm

Found that we were not ready to discuss the piece fully. Will be first on the review for our November 26 meeting.

Discussion of the piece at a minor level find it works generally and find that Eathel’s style primarily includes humanized animal writings. Eathel asked if certain passages in his piece made sense and if the references made in the piece were understandable.

End of Reviews: 7:57 pm

Closing the meeting confirm that the Meeting will be held on

November 26 2014

Author’s reviewed will be:

  • Eathel Carmichael
  • Cori S Burgar
  • Brian Hill if he is present

A new feature may be an offering of recommended reading:

this weeks recommendation is: Brent Weeks, The Night Angel Trilogy

General discussion followed about our current works in progress and further ideas for future writing.

Meeting adjourned at 8:35 pm